Addendum

I really want (need?) to try right path. It's going to be crazy for me, I know, as I'm intensely logical in terms of things, so I'm always imposing order, or trying to. "This is how this situation should work"; "Given inputs x, y, and z will produce a"; etc. I don't think I even live in the "moment" unless I'm playing sports, which is interesting, as years of practice/conditioning takes you away from making choices with your brain and with your heart (instinct). Especially since I ride the metra, I'm constantly thinking of random things...maybe I'll try to quiet down, tomorrow, for at least five minutes, and allow myself, literally, to be taken to the city.