On the DL, second half

So, a best way to describe my experience post reading: it's like a cookbook with only the top half of the recipes, only the ingredients. I learned a lot more about being DL, which enriched my little context that I had, but I saw nothing in terms of way to address this. The "main" answer was that "talking" would solve some issues--having open and honest dialogues. But this seems like a very weak answer, considering how much of the book discusses just how much secrecy/deception is involved in being DL and how having those conversations, if with the "wrong" people, essentially "kills" any sort of life a person has.

So, my solution: more acceptances of alternate lifestyles in mainstream black media.

I just think, at least for white people, there are shows like Queer as Folk and The L Word, which treats alternative lifestyle as not some sort of anathema but very real lifestyles, with the same sort of complications any "mainstream" lifestyle has. It humanizes it to the point where the only difference is that the couples are not heterosexual--they still argue, have debt, get angry, etc. the same as other people; nothing is fundamentally wrong or unnatural. In the black community, the predominant treatment of alternative lifestyles is decidedly negative, perpetuating existing caricatures of the overly effeminate man or the hyper masculine female. Or, if the caricature of the effeminate man is passed, then it morphs into some sort of wanton sexual deviant or duplicitous person like Will Smith's character in Six Degrees of Separation.

The only serious engagement I've seen in media comes through Noah's Arc, and that only lasted two seasons of about 26 episodes and a movie. I think acceptability comes from combating stereotypes via media; that's how, I feel, blacks began to "change" their image from some sort of less-than animal, and I feel this can be the same way that these intentionally buried voices can begin to sound, become used to, and eventually come out. Since the black culture, in general, seems to consume media so, it seems to be the best way to "talk"; however, the issue is that this media is usually in terms of music and then movies--I don't think you're going to have rap or r&b cats preaching tolerance anytime soon if they don't already as there is no money in it.

So what? Well, we learned, via the book, that DL brothas™ come in all shapes, sizes, ages, social classes, but not much in terms of true "identifications"--we, as readers, got a lot of issues/problems but very little in solutions. Education, especially education to stem the spread of disease, is necessary and important--but until those people become "ok" or feel safe enough to admit their lifestyle and make sure they live it as safely as possible, it's like you're talking about the illumanati all the time. Yes, we know it exists, but there's little we can do about it.

Who's going to step up and make it clear that being honest, even if this "violates" the stereotype of black man = extra masculine, virile, etc, is ok, that this will not fundamentally change how people interact with you, that this won't result in more loss than gain?