I'm an inherently "logic first" person, so it's harder for me to see connections issues when/if they exist, as I can relatively easily rationalize the connections in my head. I thought my bra poem was sufficiently clear, playing with being in both the present and past, and how indecision can eventually relent and become a decision that is only good for the moment(s) of the action. Obviously, I was wrong--my bra was "too intellectual," and no one ever talks to bras (even though there probably could be empirical studies done to show where focus lies when a male speaks to females--eyes wander [I'm not saying rightly or wrongly]).
That stanza, mainly, was to show a kind of "stasis" the bra maintains--there is so much that depends on the bra being on or off (love to creepily pervert WC Williams), which is what I thought the poem hinged on. External forces becoming impatient with the bra being on; the bra only wanting the best for her wearer. I think this why I may have taken exception to the idea for the bra being "friends" with the male article of clothing named at the end--maybe friend was the wrong word (maybe it should have been acquaintances?)--if you are around someone enough, people will ascribe the label of friend rightfully or not. I didn't mean this as some quirky tone shift--I, again, meant it more as this sort of situation where familiarity doesn't always means pleasantness--being stripped, even if consensual, doesn't always mean the parties will feel the "best" about it. That may get into a deeper issue altogether that my poem (or me, currently), doesn't want to address, but I guess I require too much suspension of belief, or overly trust the reader to get my intended meaning.
Everything is open for interpretation--I welcome that--but defining what is and isn't possible for an inanimate object seems...weird. Or counterproductive. What if one of my risks (it wasn't, but still) was making the seemingly nonsensical make sense? What happens if I would have named dropped Derrida or Wolfgang Iser or I.A. Richards and said, "them the gaps--fill them with your baggage"? Maybe I'll revise it with the concept of "this is a bra" and make sure the things are within the bra's reality...or make it a bra polyptotes. I plan on revising each of the six exercise poems I created anyway, and I did get good feedback in terms of strengthening the piece in its current state (I'm not saying I didn't), but...yeah.
While waiting for my wife's hair to be done, I typed the following into the memo section of my phone as a start to a poem, but it may fit here, too: "I have a distinctly different concept of funny. Maybe it's because i see simulacrum in everything, including the 'real'." Does simulacrum have a point in this poem? Maybe if only that things are being represented. But, if I poorly (and circularly) connect this back to me being primarily a "logic" thinker, if I see everything, regardless of it's level of realness as fake, does that taint how I structure things? Dream logic doesn't work outside of dreams--maybe the notion "I know exactly what this means" is only applicable if someone is as warped or non-sequitor as me. Oops.
As a less heavy aside, I've started the image search--I don't know how I'll bring 'em in with me, but I definitely have a firm grip of "what" to look for. I'm debating finding relationship images (as all my poems, whether I want to or not, tend to be about relationships), but music, science, and Christian imagery are no-brainers: the circle of fifths, band/artist images, sheet music; Fibonacci images in nature (sunflowers, shells, etc), hyperbolas, areas shaded under a curve, diagrams of various body systems (like cns, lymphatic), Newton's cradle; rosaries, crosses, crowns, silver coins, fire. I'll think about them more tomorrow (and the weekend), and may just narrow it to the top 2-3 in each category to provide a) the most inspiration and b) to cut down how many trees I'm killin'.
This feels like a lot--then again, I've been "away" from the blog for a while, relatively speaking. I feel I should go through and wantonly quote some words now...but I've learned my lesson :)
So, I'll end with some fun stuffs (as the vast majority of this has been heavy), and post the top
I guess these are in some sort of significant order, too:
1. Cynic - Integral Birth
I discovered Cynic a few years back (they're actually quite "old" as bands go, but with only two full lengths, widely spaced apart in time). I'm a big fan of prog (progressive music [rock, metal, etc]), and rightfully or not, an association with prog is excess and decadence, along with technical proficiency (forebearers: Yes, Rush, King Crimson, UK, early Genesis, ELP)--newer prog is more in the metal vein, which is usually associated with technicality (whether this is speed, technique, or both). Cynic is technically proficient, but there's something...rewarding about the vocals--the sort of detached/futuristic feel they take, in contrast with the growled vocals. Musically, if you're a fan of tech, this has everything--groovy bass and drum lines, a nice chord progression, and hella tasty solos (specifically, for me, the second one is especially nice--I may try to cover it on the acoustic, as I think it's just within my proficiency scope). The image repeated in the chorus "a million doves / orbit round the earth with tears of blood" seems so beautifully restrained and poetic simultaneously.
2. The Receiving End of Sirens - Planning a Prison Break
Their lyrics, I feel, are so poetic, in addition to the additional textures they get from three singers. Very uplifting/contemplative, especially the idea of transcending the body and announcing that "this is the last night in my body." That, it's a bit refreshing (if you get more into TREOS' oeuvre), that a band not strictly math/metalcore experiments with odd time signatures and breakdowns. Go fig.
3. Keyshia Cole and Monica - Trust
I've been getting more into/back to R&B lately--maybe it's an attempt to reconcile with my roots, maybe it's a result of me not having an access/outlet to play "heavy" music since I'm no longer in a "college town"--and I'm not sad with my choice. To be perfectly honest, a lot of R&B (or what mainstream society [and, to an extent, what minority society perpetrates]) is shit, musically, holistically. The premium now, really, is having a catchy beat/hook--lyrics aren't really a premium, but if the song has sufficient knock (read: car-rattling bass), a solid horn section, or a random appearance from someone from Young Money (Lil' Wayne, Nicki Minaj, Tyga et al.), you're money. Telling realistic stories with emotions seems abandoned in favor of tales of excess, bottle of rosay and moscato, the finest dro, the finest hoes, etc. This song is about a simple concept: trust. The song wants that eternal relationship, wants to be one, realizes that life is so complicated yet making the attempt to trust can be so important. Man. Think about the chorus: "I know you've seen a lot of things in your life / It got you feeling like this can't be right /
But, I won't hurt you; I'm down for you baby." 'Nuff said.
4. The Dream - Sex Intelligent
Straight up, this is nothing but guilty listening and me living vicariously through The Dream. The lyrics are...well, interesting. Interpret interesting whatever way you want after listening. I've posted this before--unfortunately, most versions on youtube aren't the one that's on the cd (I've explained this in an earlier post, but it may bear repeating). Also, my wife dislikes me singing this song. I wonder why.
5. Alicia Keys ft Drake - Un-thinkable (I'm Ready)
Plain and simple, one of the few songs in recent memory that have almost made me cry. Listening closely to the lyrics, it's a "bad" song in terms of content (the speaker saying she's ready, essentially, to be the other woman [which may mirror how she functioned in real life in terms of Swizz Beats, but that means nothing to you if you don't follow the urban music scene]), but man is there just an overall chill vibe and stunning vocal performances (maybe more for Drake, as his singing seems to benefit in other songs from the "judicious" use of Auto-Tune). Still, resonant. Very much. The wife doesn't like when I sing this, either.
EDIT
6. The Dillinger Escape Plan - The Widower
Shows maturity (not that dissonance isn't mature), but seems a logical progression from the last track of their previous effort, Ire Works, entitled "Mouth of Ghosts." There is the "typical" DEP shenaningans we've (and by we've, I mean people who fancy this brand of music) come to expect near the end, but something reads "powerful" in this song, even if the lyrics don't make a hell of a lot of sense. The idea of breathing someone's name after they leave is haunting.
-Glenn
You know, I had this same problem in my first year of my MFA program: I thought I was being per-fect-ly clear, only to be told I was "baroque" and "dense" and "weird" and all sort of things. I think we have to trust that if a room full of at least marginally smart people who read poetry do not get what we're talking about, we are not being clear, and will not be clear to the rest of the population, which is neither as well-versed in how poems work nor as committed to reading our poems as our MFA cohort. This does not always work as it should, but mostly I think it holds true.
ReplyDeleteThat said, I don't think the only solution is to try to be clear in the sense of transparency, narrative, et al. If what you are trying to work is a weird sense of humor, a look at the artifice of everything, go for it! ANYTHING can work...but the poems has to bear the load it's given, has to be a world unto itself that is believable and clear on its own rules (even if part of its rules are that the rules shapeshift and are unstable). Does that make sense? One can--and does--trust even very weird, very difficult, very funny poems, as long as they seem "inevitable," sure of themselves.
In other news: You're married! You're married?! How is that not a part of this master tape about "relationships"?!
Haha. My wife reads my work; she doesn't like appearing (or thinking that she appears) in my work. As noted earlier, I try to use my poems as vehicles where I can "escape" reality if only by sublimating feelings/actions on characters that aren't necessarily real. I think that's a fancy way of admitting I'm a chickenshit, ha.
ReplyDeleteThe clarity issue is a thing I'll continue to struggle with, but I do like being "called out" on stuff that is unclear. I think that's why I tried to make sure to explain that I wasn't "yelling" when talking about yelling at a bra; rather, my mind very much makes things make sense regardless of if they do. It's kind of the effect of re-reading a paper over and over again and you think words/ideas are there that are not really. Of course it makes sense that a unicorn appears from an open wound.
I think it's just getting slowly acclimated to people aside from me reading my works/having fellow poets see them--I don't get much feedback at the homestead (partially for the aforementioned reason of "OMG IS THIS ME GLENN!" and to be honest, the wife saying she'll read something and not). I think I'm still wresting with what I want to do, maybe especially more in this class as it's so rigorously defined (and this isn't a bad thing--you have to leave your comfort zone to grow).